Love/Hate Relationship with Valentine’s Day

mochadad and mommy to themaxI hear many men grumble about Valentine’s Day. They often say, “Why do I need a special occasion to show love for my wife? I do it every day.” I can relate to this grumbling because I’ve done my fair share of it. I guess you could call me a Valentine’s Day Scrooge. Bah Humbug, Cupid!

However, I realized that it’s much easier to rail about Valentine’s Day than it is to consistently express love the rest of the year. I often use 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 to measure how I’m expressing love for my wife. I replace the word love in the passage with my name:

Fred is patient, Fred is kind. Fred does not envy, Fred does not boast, Fred is not proud. Fred does not dishonor others, Fred is not self-seeking, Fred is not easily angered, Fred keeps no record of wrongs. Fred does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Fred always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Fred never fails.

After reading that passages, it is clear that Fred doesn’t always measure up. While it is easy to send an unexpected bouquet of flowers or buy a special gift, it is much more difficult to consistently meet my wife’s emotional needs in a way that is fulfilling and uplifting.

My son’s teacher always encourages the kids to “fill each other’s buckets.” In other words, she wants them to build up their classmates with kind words, helpful deeds, and unselfish acts. In marriage, we must do a better job of filling each other’s buckets.

Although I despise the commercial aspects of the fake holiday, I’m not stupid. I know that my wife loves Valentine’s Day and all of the romance associated with it. Therefore, I buy the flowers, cook the candlelight dinners, and partake in the chocolate covered strawberries and champagne. But for the rest of the year, I will work on expressing love in a way that will make Hallmark envious.

Stay Strong,

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Question: What are your thoughts on Valentine’s Day?

About author

Frederick J. Goodall

Frederick J. Goodall is the founder of Mocha Dad - a parenting website focused on fatherhood. He is passionate about parenting and helping men to be great dads, husbands, and role models. You can contact him at or on Twitter at