Guest Post: Who Suffers at the Hands of Domestic Violence?

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please help me to assist domestic violence victims by leaving a comment on this post “Men Must Take a Stand Against Domestic Violence: My Personal Pledge.

In this guest post, Rhachelle Nicol’ discusses how domestic violence affects families.

 Who Suffers at the Hands of Domestic Violence?

My work as a caseworker was to ensure the safety of children and assist parents with accessing treatment services with the goal of reuniting families. What I realized early on was that domestic violence did not just affect the children and those in the relationship but also other family members, schools and communities at large.

In some cases it was history repeating itself, a generational curse, that was manifesting itself in the lives of those who had witnessed the abuse as children. Families were estranged because of the vicious cycle that plagued them.  Grandparents were unable to prevent their grandchildren from being placed in foster homes because of a record revealing their own history of abuse, some were victims some perpetrators. Informing grandparents that they couldn’t get their grandchildren uncovered wounds that had yet to be healed.

During meetings, my requests for family members to be present as support were important, but, to my surprise, rarely heeded. Family members had become insensitive, unconcerned or just too preoccupied with themselves to help. Unfortunately, in cases where there was minimal family support the likelihood of parental recovery diminished.

In sports when a player is wounded or injured, they have to sit out. Until that player heals, the entire team suffers.  There is no difference in our families. When parents don’t recover ,the children are removed from their homes with no hope of returning

I am always amazed by how the community responds when asked to open their homes, nurture those that have been wounded and assist them on their journey toward healing. Most take the charge and assignment seriously while there are a few who victimize the children even further.

For children, moving to a new home is just the beginning of their challenges. They don’t just transition into the home of a stranger but in most cases a new school and community.

So while many may turn a blind eyes to the abuse, it is still effecting our communities directly and indirectly.  Those effects are witnessed in adult relationships and friendships, how we choose to communicate and relate to one another.  It shows up in the classroom and on the playground. No one is immune.

October is recognized as domestic violence awareness month, get out and get involved.

About The Author

Rhachelle Nicol’ is a mother, author, speaker, writer and advocate, who discovered that her life purpose is to bring healing and hope to others. Rhachelle Nicol’ has worked with abused and neglected children, juvenile delinquents and high risk families, to reunify, redirect and assist families with accessing resources to function at their highest level for over 15 years. She is the Founder of Mother 2 Mother CDC, an organization providing preventative services to at risk mothers and families. Rhachelle Nicol’ is very transparent in her approach when working with families. Her mission in life is to inspire others to heal and grow while allowing their dreams to take root. Read more about her journey at

About author

Frederick J. Goodall

Frederick J. Goodall is the founder of Mocha Dad - a parenting website focused on fatherhood. He is passionate about parenting and helping men to be great dads, husbands, and role models. You can contact him at or on Twitter at