Looking back at my childhood, I realize that fear severely affected my confidence. I never asked out the girls I liked. I never tried out for the basketball team. I never traveled to Israel when I had the opportunity to go. I never applied for the scholarships I was eligible for. I missed out on many things because I was afraid.
When I went to college, I decided to live my life differently. My reinvention came during my freshman year when I was flipping through the Bible for a class assignment. I happened to turn to Romans 12: 2 and read this passage, “..do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” It was like lightning struck me on the spot. From that point on, I was a new man.
Over the course of my college career, I gained the courage to ask girls out on dates (which led to my marrying the woman of my dreams), take leadership positions in organizations, play intramural sports, and land a great paying job. The more I stepped outside of my comfort zone, the more confident I became. Today, I’m a better husband and father because of my transformation.
Confidence is strength. If you want to be more comfortable in your own skin, I recommend that you follow these 10 steps:
- Conquer your fears – As you saw from my examples, fear prevents many men from living up to their true potential. You must face your fears head-on if you want to overcome them. You will soon realize that most of your fears are unfounded and you had no reason to be afraid in the first place.
- Stop worrying about what others think of you – Someone once said one third of people will like you, one third won’t and one third won’t care either way. Therefore, your self-worth should not be tied to other people’s approval or validation. Understand that people are going to criticize and reject you no matter what you do.
- Live for a purpose bigger than yourself – Find a cause you believe in and be a dedicated servant. Are you passionate about stopping hunger, eliminating cancer, improving education? Get involved! You will soon learn that your life is vastly improved when you help others.
- Keep learning – Nothing helps build confidence as much as knowledge. Be a life-long student. Continuous learning is not only personally enriching, it will also give you an edge in your career.
- Emphasize your strengths – Many men waste time trying to improve their weak areas instead of honing their strengths. You know what you’re good at. Do those things and get others to fill in the gaps. Spending time on things you do well increases your return on investment and gives you a sense of accomplishment.
- Develop good grooming habits – When you look good, you feel good. Develop a routine of personal care that keeps you looking your best and use good products that are made specifically for men. It’s hard to be “da Man” when you smell like your wife.
- Take care of your health – Eat right, exercise, and schedule regular doctor visits. Your health is your most valuable asset. Protect it.
- Stay connected to friends and family – Your family and friends will keep you grounded and prevent your new-found confidence to go to your head. They will always be honest with you and give you support when you need it the most.
- Love the man you are – You will go through various stages in your life – some good, some not so good. But through it all, you must never allow the circumstances to shape your self-perception. Love yourself regardless of what is happening around you.
- Embrace your masculinity – The world needs strong, confident men just like you. Hold your head high. Stand tall. Change the world. Be the man you were created to be.
Question: What are some other things that men can do build up their confidence?