Coffee Will Stunt Your Growth

iced coffee

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As I was pouring myself a glass of iced coffee, my son, N, placed his cup on the counter.

“What do you think you’re doing?” asked KayEm.

“I’m getting some coffee,” said N as he pushed his cup closer to me.

“Oh, no you’re not,” said KayEm.

“It’s okay, Mommy,” said N. “It’s morning time. I can have some coffee now.”

“You cannot have any coffee because you’re six,” explained KayEm.

“But, Mommy,” he said. “Daddy lets me have coffee.” KayEm glared at me. I took a big gulp of coffee and averted my eyes.

“I don’t care what happens when you and Daddy are alone, but you can’t have any coffee when I’m at home,” said KayEm.

“But why?” asked N.

“Because it will stunt your growth,” said KayEm.

“What does that mean?” he asked.

“It means that you will remain small all your life,” said KayEm.

“I won’t grow up if I drink coffee?” N asked.

“Right,” said KayEm. “You’ll be the size of six-year-old forever.”

“I’d like to see the research on that,” I said. KayEm glared at me again. I continued drinking my coffee.

“That means I’d have to stand on my tippy-toes all the time,” N said. “I don’t think I want any coffee.”

“Are you sure you don’t want any,” I said waving the cup in front of his face. He looked at KayEm and then back at me.

“No,” he said. “I’m not sure. Can I have some coffee, pleeeeeze.”

KayEm just shook her head.

Stay Strong,

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About author

Frederick J. Goodall

Frederick J. Goodall is the founder of Mocha Dad - a parenting website focused on fatherhood. He is passionate about parenting and helping men to be great dads, husbands, and role models. You can contact him at or on Twitter at

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