Last week my wife, K, and son, N, went shopping for Mother’s Day cards. While K searched for the perfect cards for her mother, godmother, and sister, N decided to browse further down the rack. A few minutes later, N returned looking confused.
“Mommy?” he asked handing her a card featuring a picture of a dead clown. “What’s this?” K shooed him away while she continued browsing.
“Mommy, why is that dog smoking?” N said bringing her the card with a nicotine addicted canine.
“N, go look at the kiddy cards,” she said, pointing toward the cards with Lightning McQueen, Buzz Lightyear, and other child-friendly characters near the end of the aisle. She made a mental note to never go card shopping with the boy again.
A few moments later, K was startled by N’s yelling again. “Mommy! Mommy! Come here. You’ve got to see this.”
“Wait a second, N. I’m almost done,” K said, but N was insistent. He approached and handed her a copy of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. On the cover, the string bikini-clad model was pulling down her bikini bottom.
K was horrified. “Put that back!” she screamed.
“Why is she dressed like that, Mommy?” N asked. “Look at what she’s doing to her bottom.”
“Just put it down and come here.”
K grabbed her greeting cards and hurried to the cashier. In the the car, K caught a glimpse of N’s crestfallen face in the rearview mirror and instantly regretted her knee-jerk reaction. She turned to N and told him, “I’m not upset with you. Sometimes people do inappropriate things and wear inappropriate things on magazines. They show their personal private business when they shouldn’t. We just don’t look at those magazines.”
“I was just looking at Barack Obama when I saw it,” N said. K gave him a smirk of disbelief.
“No, really, Mommy. I was looking at Barack Obama. He was on the book next to the magazine.” K shrugged. Maybe the boy was being honest. He is 5, not 15 after all.
Happy Mother’s Day.
P.S. – I love you, K.