My Cup Runneth Over

When you have a son who plays sports, you become an expert on various protective cups. For those of you without boys, allow me to explain. The cup is a piece of plastic that protects boys’ genitals from harm – very helpful when a baseball is headed straight for your groin area at 90 mph.

A Daddy Thing

One day, my wife, KayEm called to inform me that my son’s baseball coach recommended buying him a cup.

“Will you get one on your way home?” she asked.

“Aren’t you going to the store today?” I asked. “Why can’t you get it?”

“Because that’s a daddy thing,” she said (BTW, other daddy things include killing bugs, investigating strange sounds at night, and addressing all questions related to the penis).

New and Improved

Not wanting to shirk my daddy responsibility, I agreed to buy the cup. As I strolled the sporting goods store’s athletic support aisle, I was amazed by the advances in cup technology. When I was a kid, the only protection we had were a jock strap and a cup. Chaffing was a big problem.

Now men and boys can protect their genitals in style and comfort. Although the traditional cup-jockstrap is still available, it cannot compare to the cup-brief, cup-compression shorts, or cup-sliding short (the brand with the best name is NuttyBuddy). These innovative products come complete with a pouch to house the cup. No more chaffing!

Take Me Out to the BALL Game

On game day, I help N get dressed in his uniform. When I pulled out the cup he looked puzzled.

“What’s that?” he asked.

“It’s a cup,” I said as I stuffed it into the compression shorts. “It will protect you while you’re on the field.”

He slid on the shorts and immediately started wiggling around.

“Daddy,” he said adjusting himself like a real baseball player. “This thing feels weird.”

“You’ll get used to it,” I said.

N managed to get through the game with no problem, but he couldn’t wait to ditch that cup. Immediately after the game, N reached into his pants and fished around. A look of horror covered KayEm’s face.

“Get your son,” she said as she pushed me towards the boy. “Tell him not to do that in public.” I darted towards N and gave him a quick lesson on cup etiquette.

Attack of the Penis Cup

Later that night, I heard a horrible scream coming from upstairs.

“Daddy,” my daughter, Nee yelled. “Hurry! Come upstairs!”

“What happened?” I asked as I dashed into my daughter’s bedroom.

“I’m hurt,” she said holding her head.

“How did you hurt yourself?” I asked.

“I ran into the wall because N was trying to touch me with the penis cup,” she said.

“N,” I snapped. “Stop touching people with your penis cup.” It was only later that I realized exactly how ridiculous that statement sounded.

My Cup Runneth Over

Unfortunately, my cup adventures weren’t over for the night.

My 2-year old son has respiratory problems that we manage with inhaler medication. We deliver the medication with an AeroChamber Mask.

Apparently, X thought that N’s cup resembled his mask because he placed it over his nose and mouth and proceeded to breathe.

I discretely removed the cup from the toddler’s face before his mother saw him. She had already been emotionally scarred by the cup. No need to add to her trauma.

Who knew that a small piece of plastic could cause so many problems.

Stay Strong,

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About the author
Frederick J. Goodall is the founder of Mocha Dad - a parenting website focused on fatherhood. He is passionate about parenting and helping men to be great dads, husbands, and role models. You can contact him at fjgoodall@mochadad.com or on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/mochadad
  • Fran Oriordan

    I just read this post out loud to my husband…thanks for the laugh!

  • Fran Oriordan

    I just read this post out loud to my husband…thanks for the laugh!

  • http://www.bloggerfather.com BloggerFather

    My wife keeps telling me she wants to move to a farm. Doesn’t she know leaving the city would mean more tiny animals for me to kill while she screams and cries? We’ll never get anything done!
    .-= BloggerFather´s last blog ..Worst Father Award =-.

  • http://www.bloggerfather.com BloggerFather

    My wife keeps telling me she wants to move to a farm. Doesn’t she know leaving the city would mean more tiny animals for me to kill while she screams and cries? We’ll never get anything done!
    .-= BloggerFather´s last blog ..Worst Father Award =-.

  • http://decksidethoughts.blogspot.com Cheryl

    That was a riot! Oh the visuals I got from reading this were just wild.
    .-= Cheryl´s last blog ..Of course I’m a basket case! But this is different… =-.

  • http://decksidethoughts.blogspot.com Cheryl

    That was a riot! Oh the visuals I got from reading this were just wild.
    .-= Cheryl´s last blog ..Of course I’m a basket case! But this is different… =-.

  • http://www.KrystalGrant.com Krystal Grant

    This. Is. Hilarious. The penis cup is terrorizing your entire house. Now that my son is playing soccer, I guess I need to get him a penis cup…on second thought, I’ll let his dad handle that. Hopefully his little brother won’t mistake it for his sippy cup.

  • http://www.KrystalGrant.com Krystal Grant

    This. Is. Hilarious. The penis cup is terrorizing your entire house. Now that my son is playing soccer, I guess I need to get him a penis cup…on second thought, I’ll let his dad handle that. Hopefully his little brother won’t mistake it for his sippy cup.

  • http://www.hotchocolatecaramelmocha.com Stesha

    LOL! I will never be able to eat a Nutty Buddy pie again, without thinking of a penis cup. Thanks.

    Hugs and Mocha,
    Stesha

    *correction buddy…not butty…which is just as bad:)*
    .-= Stesha´s last blog ..Project iPhoto 365: 23/365 – Lovely =-.

  • http://www.hotchocolatecaramelmocha.com Stesha

    LOL! I will never be able to eat a Nutty Buddy pie again, without thinking of a penis cup. Thanks.

    Hugs and Mocha,
    Stesha

    *correction buddy…not butty…which is just as bad:)*
    .-= Stesha´s last blog ..Project iPhoto 365: 23/365 – Lovely =-.

  • http://mywifemykidsmydogs.blogspot.com Que

    That is a really funny post! I guess there’s just something funny about a penis cup. I don’t care how you look at it… it’s funny!
    .-= Que´s last blog ..Inspired Epiphany =-.

  • http://mywifemykidsmydogs.blogspot.com Que

    That is a really funny post! I guess there’s just something funny about a penis cup. I don’t care how you look at it… it’s funny!
    .-= Que´s last blog ..Inspired Epiphany =-.

  • http://hangingwithmrscooper.com hangingwithmrscooper

    ROFLMAO!! That was hysterical. Not even trying to get visuals on that one. Wooosah!!!
    .-= hangingwithmrscooper´s last blog ..What’s Happening in the Hood =-.

  • http://hangingwithmrscooper.com hangingwithmrscooper

    ROFLMAO!! That was hysterical. Not even trying to get visuals on that one. Wooosah!!!
    .-= hangingwithmrscooper´s last blog ..What’s Happening in the Hood =-.

  • http://www.almightydad.com Keith Wilcox

    We used to own a martial arts academy and this was a recurring problem for us. The little kids would always take their cups and put them over their faces to talk like Darth Vader. Jeez. But, I don’t remember anybody ever calling them penis cups! HAHAHAHAHA
    .-= Keith Wilcox´s last blog ..Courage at Clark Kent’s Lunchbox =-.

  • http://www.almightydad.com Keith Wilcox

    We used to own a martial arts academy and this was a recurring problem for us. The little kids would always take their cups and put them over their faces to talk like Darth Vader. Jeez. But, I don’t remember anybody ever calling them penis cups! HAHAHAHAHA
    .-= Keith Wilcox´s last blog ..Courage at Clark Kent’s Lunchbox =-.

  • http://wwwjackbenimble.blogspot.com/ Jack

    I should read this to my sister who was also chased by a boy with a cup. That provided more fun than I can tell you. Oh the memories. ;)
    .-= Jack´s last blog ..Blog Disappointment =-.

  • http://wwwjackbenimble.blogspot.com/ Jack

    I should read this to my sister who was also chased by a boy with a cup. That provided more fun than I can tell you. Oh the memories. ;)
    .-= Jack´s last blog ..Blog Disappointment =-.

  • http://www.nonsuperwomanchronicles.com The NON-Superwoman

    Oh man! As the mom of two boys, I see this drama is in my near future :-(

  • http://www.nonsuperwomanchronicles.com The NON-Superwoman

    Oh man! As the mom of two boys, I see this drama is in my near future :-(

  • http://www.mamalaw.com Justice Ny

    I was on the bus LMAO…people probably thought I was crazy. This was so funny! Thanks for starting my day off right:)

  • http://www.mamalaw.com Justice Ny

    I was on the bus LMAO…people probably thought I was crazy. This was so funny! Thanks for starting my day off right:)

  • http://www.uberoom.com/romantic-rooms-1/ Bryan

    Hilarious.

    Baseball = cup. Soccer = no cup. Football = no cup. Basketball = no cup, but we had to wear a jock strap when we were kids. Weirdest thing ever, especially because we were forced to do it or we couldn’t play.

    Bryan

  • http://www.uberoom.com/romantic-rooms-1/ Bryan

    Hilarious.

    Baseball = cup. Soccer = no cup. Football = no cup. Basketball = no cup, but we had to wear a jock strap when we were kids. Weirdest thing ever, especially because we were forced to do it or we couldn’t play.

    Bryan

  • http://www.chroniclesofabusymind.com Alicia – MyBusyMind

    Awww the cup tails good times. Had this experience the first time last year, suprisingly enough he liked the strap better than the briefs.
    .-= Alicia – MyBusyMind´s last blog ..Listen To Your Own Advice =-.

  • http://www.chroniclesofabusymind.com Alicia – MyBusyMind

    Awww the cup tails good times. Had this experience the first time last year, suprisingly enough he liked the strap better than the briefs.
    .-= Alicia – MyBusyMind´s last blog ..Listen To Your Own Advice =-.