10 Signs Your Child is a Brat


brat childNo child is born a brat, but they are prone to bratty behavior. For those parents who are unsure if your child is a brat, here are 10 signs to look for:

1.  They resort to crying or yelling when they want something.
2.  They throw themselves on floor and won’t get up.
3.  They constantly throw tantrums or even hit you when you punish them.
4.  They ignore you when you ask a question.
5.  They are rude to other adults and even to other children.
6.  They refuse to share with other children.
7.  They are show-offs and are constantly trying to one-up their peers to be the center of attention.
8.  They always want whatever everyone else has. Once they have it, they want something new.
9.  They keep a messy room and never help out around the house despite your pleas for them to do so.
10. They refuse to go to bed.

If your kids exhibit any or all of these behaviors, they might be brats. Don’t fret because there is hope for their bratty behavior and it starts with you.

7 Tips to Curb Bratty Behavior

Develop an attitude of gratitude

Brattiness is a symptom of selfishness and entitlement. Kids who believe that they are entitled to everything, never learn how to be grateful and appreciate the things that they have. They always want more material things or attention, and will react in a negative manner if they don’t get them. However, children who develop an attitude of gratitude at an early age, will be less like to throw tantrums. Teach your children the importance of being thankful.

Resist the urge to indulge their every whim

As parents, we want to give our children nice things, but does your 5-year old really need the latest smart phone? Don’t buy them everything they want. Make them earn some things. Most of all, learn to say “no” and mean it.

Emphasize the importance of serving others

When kids learn the importance of serving others, they will start to understand that the world exists beyond themselves. Teach them that service begins at home and encourage them to help with household chores. When they are old enough, give them opportunities to volunteer and complete service projects.

Develop consistent routines

Children desire order in their lives and they look to their parents to establish this order. Set regular schedules for bedtime, homework, etc. and stick to them.

Spend quality time with your children

Sometimes bratty behavior is a cry for attention. As parents, it’s easy to get so caught up in running the household and managing our careers, that we fail to give our children the time they deserve. Show your children that they are important by giving them the precious gift of your time.

Compliment your child when he/she does the right thing

Praise works wonders with children. Make sure the praise is sincere, though. Children know when they are being patronized.

Firmly discipline children when they show disrespect

It is important to teach your children that disrespect will not be tolerated. They should be punished immediately and firmly when they disrespect you or other adults. But don’t punish your children until you ask these 5 questions.

If you consistently apply these suggestions, you will begin to notice a change in your child’s behavior.

(For more tips, listen to this radio segment: How to Deal with Bratty Behavior and Parenting in the Social Media Age)

Stay Strong,

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Question: What tips do you have to deal with bratty behavior?

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About the author
Frederick J. Goodall is the founder of Mocha Dad - a parenting website focused on fatherhood. He is passionate about parenting and helping men to be great dads, husbands, and role models. You can contact him at fjgoodall@mochadad.com or on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/mochadad
  1. Hi and thanks for stopping by my blog. I was just reading about your sons crush. How sweet is that! I think it is harmless and it could be worse, he could be beating the girls up or something!

  2. Hi and thanks for stopping by my blog. I was just reading about your sons crush. How sweet is that! I think it is harmless and it could be worse, he could be beating the girls up or something!

  3. Great advice. I think we as a society are entirely too “me focused” and your comments regarding disrespect and being grateful and humble are of the utmost importance. I almost had to break out the Joyce Meyer video for my son the other day when he complained about not having any food in the house! He’s 20.

    I have to add spare the rod, spoil the child! I’m not talking beat down, but a little smack on the butt will get a little one’s attention with a certain quickness.

  4. Great advice. I think we as a society are entirely too “me focused” and your comments regarding disrespect and being grateful and humble are of the utmost importance. I almost had to break out the Joyce Meyer video for my son the other day when he complained about not having any food in the house! He’s 20.

    I have to add spare the rod, spoil the child! I’m not talking beat down, but a little smack on the butt will get a little one’s attention with a certain quickness.

  5. First, I think that “bratty” depends on the age. A two-year-old not sharing is developmentally appropriate. It should still, of course, be dealt with to teach the proper behavior, but I have far more patience when it’s a toddler having trouble learning to share than when it’s a 7 year old. Or a 15 year old.

    Or a young child who has trouble verbalizing, who can’t use words yet – and with other people’s kids, I’m not going to judge right away because I don’t know if that child has a learning disability, or if the kids’ dog died that morning – I’ll move them to an out-of-the-way spot to allow the tantrum. I try my hardest to prevent tantrums (keep children well-rested, well-fed, and not push too long and too hard with new experiences) but once a tantrum is in full bloom (for a toddler or younger), it’s just get them away from other people and let them melt down. Again, for an older child, I’ll take a more firm hand in the matter. Although, the same rules apply for not wearing kids thin and then expecting perfect behavior.

    My advice:

    1. Get kids out and about into social situations with other people and adults as much as possible and in as small “bites” as possible.

    2. Always go into a new situation well rested.

    3. Talk about expectations BEFORE the situation. Paint the positive picture of what you want to see happen (as opposed to “don’t do this, don’t do that” tell the child what you DO want to happen.)

    4. End on a good note.

    Finally, one of the biggest problems I see is people praising kids for being “smart” or “good” or “fast”, etc. This is an almost meaningless ego feeder. Instead, when a kid does something you like or approve of, give them meaningful positive feedback:

    1. Tell them that you could see/appreciate how hard they worked.

    2. Give them adjectives to describe themselves. “I saw you help Sarah on the swing. You are a good friend. You are conscientious,” or “You didn’t give up even when you knew you weren’t going to win. You are courageous/tenacious!”

    • I wouldn’t get certain kids out as much as possible. Up to half of all children just don’t like strange situations, new situations, lots of people (especially not the ones who interrupt and talk over each other), and they’ll never like it, no matter how gently you try to get them used to the idea. We put up with school, because you make us, and that’s the most you can ask of an introverted child. Expecting MORE socialization after that, and they WILL hate you.

      I was one of those children. I was an introvert raised by an extreme extrovert mother. She did the small easing thing. It didn’t work. People are extremely exhausting to me. But she kept doing it, and treating me like there was something wrong with me when it didn’t ‘take’.

      A little stimulation goes a long way with introverted children. Forcing them into being social too much, too hard and too often makes them hate you. Trust me. I’m that introvert. I’m 51 years old and I still hate my mother for pushing me into being “more sociable”, like there was something wrong with me for being a quiet child with her nose in a book all the time!

      She was so pushy and so relentless about it that I refuse to live closer than 300 miles to her, and I might call her once a month. If she’s lucky.

      Don’t be the parent sitting there in your old age, alone, and wondering why your child doesn’t want anything to do with you. You’re alone because your introverted child got tired of being treated like a freak or as if we’re defective, somehow, all the damned time.

  6. First, I think that “bratty” depends on the age. A two-year-old not sharing is developmentally appropriate. It should still, of course, be dealt with to teach the proper behavior, but I have far more patience when it’s a toddler having trouble learning to share than when it’s a 7 year old. Or a 15 year old.

    Or a young child who has trouble verbalizing, who can’t use words yet – and with other people’s kids, I’m not going to judge right away because I don’t know if that child has a learning disability, or if the kids’ dog died that morning – I’ll move them to an out-of-the-way spot to allow the tantrum. I try my hardest to prevent tantrums (keep children well-rested, well-fed, and not push too long and too hard with new experiences) but once a tantrum is in full bloom (for a toddler or younger), it’s just get them away from other people and let them melt down. Again, for an older child, I’ll take a more firm hand in the matter. Although, the same rules apply for not wearing kids thin and then expecting perfect behavior.

    My advice:

    1. Get kids out and about into social situations with other people and adults as much as possible and in as small “bites” as possible.

    2. Always go into a new situation well rested.

    3. Talk about expectations BEFORE the situation. Paint the positive picture of what you want to see happen (as opposed to “don’t do this, don’t do that” tell the child what you DO want to happen.)

    4. End on a good note.

    Finally, one of the biggest problems I see is people praising kids for being “smart” or “good” or “fast”, etc. This is an almost meaningless ego feeder. Instead, when a kid does something you like or approve of, give them meaningful positive feedback:

    1. Tell them that you could see/appreciate how hard they worked.

    2. Give them adjectives to describe themselves. “I saw you help Sarah on the swing. You are a good friend. You are conscientious,” or “You didn’t give up even when you knew you weren’t going to win. You are courageous/tenacious!”

  7. Oh Mocha Dad! I love you!! No, not like that but in the kindred spirit sense. My parenting philosophy is very similar to yours. I often feel as though I’m in the minority, with so many people giving in to every whim to get a moment’s peace… and then they ask why my kids are well behaved. AWESOME POST.

  8. Oh Mocha Dad! I love you!! No, not like that but in the kindred spirit sense. My parenting philosophy is very similar to yours. I often feel as though I’m in the minority, with so many people giving in to every whim to get a moment’s peace… and then they ask why my kids are well behaved. AWESOME POST.

  9. Great post, as usual, Mocha Dad! I loved your advice, and definitely agreed with Jozet. All-too-often, we as parents don’t recognize what’s developmentally normal, and we go nuts on the kids without acknowledging that sometimes, the kid is just acting like a kid. I think sometimes we might even go overboard in trying to “set them straight” when other parents are around, wondering why you’re “not handling that.” Teaching them–and yourself!–as they grow does wonders for curbing bratty behavior.

  10. Great post, as usual, Mocha Dad! I loved your advice, and definitely agreed with Jozet. All-too-often, we as parents don’t recognize what’s developmentally normal, and we go nuts on the kids without acknowledging that sometimes, the kid is just acting like a kid. I think sometimes we might even go overboard in trying to “set them straight” when other parents are around, wondering why you’re “not handling that.” Teaching them–and yourself!–as they grow does wonders for curbing bratty behavior.

    • Funny, I saw the brattiness in other kids while being complimented on how sweet and polite my child was.

      Sorry, but some of us have well-behaved children, and know it. We know it because we bothered to raise our children to be well-behaved, and were the role model for it ourselves.

      • rose coloured glasses -

        How easy it is to take credit for the good in our children. Some kids are simply milder and naturally more responsive.

  11. My parents used to simply use or threaten the use of corporal punishment to deal with my brattiness. But I don’t think it curbed me of the condition long term. In fact, I had a bratty moment last night. I won’t get into it.

    When it comes to my daughters I take a longer term approach. I use reason and logic as much as I can. People look at me like I’m crazy. But my goal is to raise well-adjusted LADIES, not well-adjusted children per se. So my hope is they will have learned and absorbed the lessons by the time they’re entering adulthood rather than middle school.

  12. My parents used to simply use or threaten the use of corporal punishment to deal with my brattiness. But I don’t think it curbed me of the condition long term. In fact, I had a bratty moment last night. I won’t get into it.

    When it comes to my daughters I take a longer term approach. I use reason and logic as much as I can. People look at me like I’m crazy. But my goal is to raise well-adjusted LADIES, not well-adjusted children per se. So my hope is they will have learned and absorbed the lessons by the time they’re entering adulthood rather than middle school.

  13. I have a nephew who is a brat and EVERYONE knows this except for my sister. It pains me that she will let this super intelligent child waste his life away in selfish behaviour. If he’s not spared from it now, I shudder to imagine what he will be like as an adult.

  14. I have a nephew who is a brat and EVERYONE knows this except for my sister. It pains me that she will let this super intelligent child waste his life away in selfish behaviour. If he’s not spared from it now, I shudder to imagine what he will be like as an adult.

  15. Just as an FYI, I bookmarked this post at SU and Reddit because it rocks. Thanks for a great post and Happy FF!

  16. Just as an FYI, I bookmarked this post at SU and Reddit because it rocks. Thanks for a great post and Happy FF!

  17. sad part about some kids being brats are that it spills into their teen years, too. lot of teens expect everything to be handed to them and are getting so lazy. love your post…good tips. thx :)

  18. sad part about some kids being brats are that it spills into their teen years, too. lot of teens expect everything to be handed to them and are getting so lazy. love your post…good tips. thx :)

  19. Nice post, Mocha Dad.

    I find that kids typically mimic their parents’ behavior. So one of the best ways to avoid raising a brat, is to avoid acting like one. There are plenty of adults who exhibit some or all of the 10 behaviors you listed. It’s actually quite common in consumer economies.

  20. Nice post, Mocha Dad.

    I find that kids typically mimic their parents’ behavior. So one of the best ways to avoid raising a brat, is to avoid acting like one. There are plenty of adults who exhibit some or all of the 10 behaviors you listed. It’s actually quite common in consumer economies.

  21. Hello! Poppin’ in from The Ultimate Blog Party…all the way from Queensland, Australia! G’Day! I hope you have time to visit my party soon.

    I’m giving away Pink Champagne Shower Syrup from Jaqua Beauty…stop on over and enter! Ends April 8. Open to USA.

    Ta!

    I want to invite you to the Mommie Daze Virtual Baby Shower that I am hosting May 15 to June 8. This is an international even and there are prizes! Stop by my blog for all the details.

  22. Hello! Poppin’ in from The Ultimate Blog Party…all the way from Queensland, Australia! G’Day! I hope you have time to visit my party soon.

    I’m giving away Pink Champagne Shower Syrup from Jaqua Beauty…stop on over and enter! Ends April 8. Open to USA.

    Ta!

    I want to invite you to the Mommie Daze Virtual Baby Shower that I am hosting May 15 to June 8. This is an international even and there are prizes! Stop by my blog for all the details.

  23. My goodness! Reading this post did nothing but make me angry! I wish my child would THINK about doing any one of the ten (lol). I began to relax as I continued reading. Great post and thanks for sharing the REAL deal.

  24. My goodness! Reading this post did nothing but make me angry! I wish my child would THINK about doing any one of the ten (lol). I began to relax as I continued reading. Great post and thanks for sharing the REAL deal.

  25. Dear Sir:

    Recently, I broke up with a women that had a bratty daughter. The inability of her mother to set boundaries with her and the dad were big obstacles in our relationship. I didn’t want to end the relationship, but the lack of changes prompted the decision. My observations include the following:

    Point 1: Her daughter had no boundaries and the mother often excused bad behavior. I noted that the daughter manipulated her and tried to do so with me. She hit her mother and scratched her one morning. Another incident was the daughter taking items from a neighbors house and minor items from mine. The mother seemed to excuse the behavior and not draw boundaries for the little girl. I did note that the ex-girlfriend still had to sleep with the 4 year old every night. She couldn’t sleep on her own. The 4 year old was extremely manipulative for her age. To be honest, I noted that other people commented on how out of control the kid seemed to be.

    Point 2: The daughter stated to me one time: “My daddy said I don’t have to listen to you”. Another comment was “My daddy said you will leave”. While a common behavior, the dad was obviously getting at me through the child. I wasn’t overly bothered by the comment, but the child would scream for daddy when not getting her way with the mother. I wasn’t sure if the child’s behavioral problems were due to the dad or ex-girlfriend or both. It was obvious that the little girl’s behavior was out of control. She didn’t do anything her mother asked of her. It was always an ongoing battle.

    Point 3: Buying presents is a constant theme with the child. Relatives and the grandmother would buy the little girl anything she wanted. My girlfriend’s brother was not easily fooled by her behavior. I remember one instance where he literally drug the kid through the mall when she complained about him going to the bathroom and interrupting her play time in the play area of the mall. My girlfriend’s brother just drug the kid into the bathroom and then drug her back to the mother shopping in Macy’s. The mother was seemingly being held hostage by the kid.

    What do you think about the situation? I believe the child is clearly a brat and needs her butt worn out. Her dad is a big problem due to his own manipulative behavior. I have never seen a child that could manipulate quite that good.

    Mike Mc

  26. Dear Sir:

    Recently, I broke up with a women that had a bratty daughter. The inability of her mother to set boundaries with her and the dad were big obstacles in our relationship. I didn’t want to end the relationship, but the lack of changes prompted the decision. My observations include the following:

    Point 1: Her daughter had no boundaries and the mother often excused bad behavior. I noted that the daughter manipulated her and tried to do so with me. She hit her mother and scratched her one morning. Another incident was the daughter taking items from a neighbors house and minor items from mine. The mother seemed to excuse the behavior and not draw boundaries for the little girl. I did note that the ex-girlfriend still had to sleep with the 4 year old every night. She couldn’t sleep on her own. The 4 year old was extremely manipulative for her age. To be honest, I noted that other people commented on how out of control the kid seemed to be.

    Point 2: The daughter stated to me one time: “My daddy said I don’t have to listen to you”. Another comment was “My daddy said you will leave”. While a common behavior, the dad was obviously getting at me through the child. I wasn’t overly bothered by the comment, but the child would scream for daddy when not getting her way with the mother. I wasn’t sure if the child’s behavioral problems were due to the dad or ex-girlfriend or both. It was obvious that the little girl’s behavior was out of control. She didn’t do anything her mother asked of her. It was always an ongoing battle.

    Point 3: Buying presents is a constant theme with the child. Relatives and the grandmother would buy the little girl anything she wanted. My girlfriend’s brother was not easily fooled by her behavior. I remember one instance where he literally drug the kid through the mall when she complained about him going to the bathroom and interrupting her play time in the play area of the mall. My girlfriend’s brother just drug the kid into the bathroom and then drug her back to the mother shopping in Macy’s. The mother was seemingly being held hostage by the kid.

    What do you think about the situation? I believe the child is clearly a brat and needs her butt worn out. Her dad is a big problem due to his own manipulative behavior. I have never seen a child that could manipulate quite that good.

    Mike Mc

  27. Yikes!

    DEFINITELY planning to avoid every last one of those bratty things on your list. As a preschool teacher I see that a lot and I almost always notice that their bratty behavior is exhibited most strongly with their parents {at pick up or drop off time}. There are so many kids who are relatively well-behaved at school yet resort to brattiness with their parents, and it’s amazing to see. Watching these children disintegrate into bratty, uncontrollable, and undisciplined the second the authority switches from teachers to parents has been a wonderful lesson for me as a future Mommy of what to do and, frankly, what not to do.
    .-= {JeLisa} @ Blogging Ever After´s last blog ..Marriagosophies – from the pages of Redbook and the mind of me. :) =-.

  28. Yikes!

    DEFINITELY planning to avoid every last one of those bratty things on your list. As a preschool teacher I see that a lot and I almost always notice that their bratty behavior is exhibited most strongly with their parents {at pick up or drop off time}. There are so many kids who are relatively well-behaved at school yet resort to brattiness with their parents, and it’s amazing to see. Watching these children disintegrate into bratty, uncontrollable, and undisciplined the second the authority switches from teachers to parents has been a wonderful lesson for me as a future Mommy of what to do and, frankly, what not to do.
    .-= {JeLisa} @ Blogging Ever After´s last blog ..Marriagosophies – from the pages of Redbook and the mind of me. :) =-.

  29. my son is one of those kids that disintegrates into bratty behaviour at pick-up and drop off. i think it is a pretty big stretch to say that he is a brat with me but not at school…. actually, he is lovely at home and lovely at school BUT he finds transitions hard. so, for example, it is “nooooooo i don't want to go to swimming class, i hate it” but then 2 minutes into the class he is having a great time.

  30. You have hit it right on. I now know the definitions of bratty kid’s and what they are like! I actually know some in my life and I really wish I could direct the parents to this post! I do believe that parents can help their kid’s not be on the bratty side!

  31. soooo…..what happens when a person HAS ALWAYS DONE all of the above and the kid id STILL acting this way!?

    • whopp the crap out of them, what do you mean the kid is still acting this way, whoop em till they don’t. let em know who the boss is?

    • Ignore the idiots who say to beat your child. 1) You can get into serious trouble for it. 2) Parents who need to resort to beating have to do it BECAUSE they are bad parents. They didn’t deal with the problem soon enough, never mind correctly.

      There are some questions that absolutely have to be asked here:

      1) Are you being 100% consistent with how you deal with your child’s bratty behavior? You have to do it ALL the time, with every incident no exceptions. If it’s still not working, you’re going about it all wrong. You’re not reaching the child in a way he understands. Or giving him a punishment that won’t work on him.

      Example: My mother used to ground me to my room when I did something stupid in my teen years. It did nothing to get me to change my behavior. I mean NOTHING.

      It took her only a few rounds of that to wake up and smell the coffee. Wait a minute! Aquaria LOVES being alone in her room with her books and her stereo! How is that punishment to her? So I got grounded FROM the house after school/on weekends until dinnertime when I messed up. The only reason I could come back to the house on a weekend day was for lunch, or if I really did get hurt or fell ill.

      Trust me, that was like putting me on the rack, and setting it to rip me apart. Slowly. But surely. And believe me when I say that I learned, lickety split, not to do X anymore. I’d do anything she wanted if she didn’t make me be out THERE, with people! Gross!

      There is always something non-traumatic that you can do to your child that will make them NEVER want to do it again. The tried and true method is this: Whatever their favorite thing is, TAKE IT AWAY, until they can learn how to behave properly.

      2) Are you setting a good example and not doing any of these things yourself? If not, how can you expect your children to do the same? If you don’t want your kids to do X, then YOU don’t do it in front of them. EVER.

  32. brat kid is always a successful kid when they grow up. when they want something, they will get it, discipline kid, only end up as as a kind kid, and will be push by others.. choose which kid do you want to have? 

  33. Just read this to my 7 yo son, who laughed but admitted that he exhibits these behaviors WAY too much.  When first meeting other people, he’s wonderful, and I often hear “oh, I just love your son, he’s so polite.”  With me, though, he whines, cries, wants every little thing, doesn’t take care of what he already has, and so on.  This was a GREAT way to talk about his behavior and how he needs to appreciate his things and take care of them!  Thank you.

  34. We really struggle with 1 and 4 around the Robbins’ home. I think the screaming is a result of large family syndrome, and ignoring must be some pychological thing if they ignore me maybe I’ll stop asking them to set the table? Thanks for breaking it down for me. Now I get to zero in. I will be hoping for angels soon.

  35. This is point on. My youngest grandson is a brat. I have told his parents so, his father aka my son totally agrees but says Mom is too lenient and lets him get away with everything. He is very manipulitive when his mother is present…but the few days he was staying with me and his father while his mother was in the hospital having the new baby. My grandson was proof without a doubt that he has his mother under his control because he was basically a perfect angel. In fact, the first time in his 5 years of life he told me he loves me. Nevertheless brought tears to my eyes, cuz to me it not only meant those words but he appreciates that I make him mind….cuz he knows how much I love him cuz I never let him forget it even when I discipline him. Hopefully his mother will see it and jump on board before he totally breaks her emotionally. Best of luck to those with bratty kids, in fixing what’s wrong.

  36. children are more and more obnoxious because parents are afraid of hitting them. Screw them. They are kids. Little pricks these days too. I hate children. I also encourage beating someone elses child who isn’t your own.

  37. When we three kids became adults and eventually moved into our thirties and forties, my parents told us that when we were children, we were three of the best behaved children they ever saw. Mom said that people would walk up to them in restaurants and compliment us. It was simple…we knew dad would backhand us if we acted up. Now we were good kids, never the kind to cry, whine or pitch a fit in public (actually not in private either) and my parents didn’t give us everything we wanted. I’m 100 percent convinced it was their parenting. I don’t remember being scared of what dad would do, it’s just that we knew better. The thought of throwing a tantrum to get what we wanted just didn’t cross our minds. It ticks me off when I’m in public and I see some kid have a meltdown. I mean really…unless there’s some disorder, a real illness that affects their behavior and it can’t be controlled, there’s no excuse for it!!! I’ve seen parents ignore it, give in to the kids and give them what they want, and smack the crap out of the kid….all three WRONG answer. But there’s such an easy fix…and that’s to not let them happen in the first place. A little good parenting goes a long way.

  38. My baby boy is a BRAT ( I blame dad)…I wanted to comment before I read it …BRB…I have been telling him for 5 years he has made him a brat had to laugh at the title and I think you know y

  39. #1 and #2 #3 the first half yes 2nd half…he knows better… second half of #9 and #10 he is 5 y.o and be a live a 5

    your tips a really good…however my son is spoiled more so than a brat but he is still a brat and being spoiled is no better but we shower no drench him with too much love but his dad lets’s him get away with everything…he started kindergarten this year so imagine teacher tells him no…I tell all my children if you need something that’s what I’m here for but if it’s something materialistic you want you have to work for it even it’s 99 cents hotwheels

  40. Excellent post! Love how concise this is, and that you don’t water down your solid ideas on how to handle naughty kids. There’s not NEARLY enough respect coming from children these days.

    I struggle most with “resist the urge to indulge”… I don’t do it for every whim, but it’s so hard not to spoil. You are spot on, though. It doesn’t do them any favors in the long run, that’s for sure.

  41. I wanted to say thanks to Ekaka and divinity for everything so far. To everyone who doesn’t believe or is considering a spell, I was one of
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  42. 1.Can I be on this site,even if im not a adult and not a man?
    2.I readed this for my sister,she got nine out of ten

  43. i`m not saying i was right, there is no right or wrong when giving point of view, but still, the reason why i say that bratty kid always successful is because they have no restriction, most of the brat willing to take risk, rather than be the obedient one, sure the obedient one will someday be the computer geniuses, but mostly end up working under the brat c.e.o who actually dont care if the worker surrounding him miserable or not, so, ask your self, do you like your boss, and most of the brat, actually have no problem socialize with people, i am saying this, because i grow up as the obedient kid, and when i see my friend who was a brat when he was a kid, he is actually happy with his life, he live his life, which sometime make me jealous at the same time admired.

  44. seriously, brat as they grow, tends to be the most honest person in the world, they hurt you when they speak their word, but its actually your choice to be hurt or not, sure, they end up breaking up with their partner because of the truth of what they speak of, but compare with the non brat, the non brat kid just keep thing inside them self, which most of them will turn to be hypocrite, since they are afraid to hurt their partner feeling, if you think the non brat kid is the most happy person, maybe you should think again, when all the thing that the non brat not satisfy, he kept it inside while her partner just do what she want..

    • No, brats do NOT grow up to be the most honest people, you idiotic cabbage with legs. Brats eventually learn to say ANYTHING, no matter how outrageous or downright dishonest it is, to get what they want. They don’t care what they must say or even do to get what they want. They will lie, cheat, steal and kill for it, if they want it badly enough.

      That’s called being a criminal, moron.

      Do keep up.

  45. Yikes! Read the top of the post and it described my two year old exactly! I’m guessing you’re describing older kiddies (he said, fingers crossed). Your solutions are all solid. One thing we do with our four year old is embrace a star chart system. When Eli is particularly good (shares well, cleans his room, etc.) he earns a star. When he earns enough stars he can get a toy or gift.

  46. Pingback: Teaching Kids to Be Thankful

  47. You forgot the most important one: Make sure that you are behaving in a way that you want your child to behave. They are the biggest imitators on the planet, and far better Method actors than Robert De Niro.

    It seems like parents don’t realize that young children DO NOT UNDERSTAND public vs. private. The entire world is all the same to them. This is why you need to act at home the way you want your kids to act in public. They’re getting their behavior cues from YOU.

    If you’re watching TV or a movie (or worse, leaving your TV on all day), and you don’t sit quietly to watch, if you’re yakking amongst yourselves or on the phone through entire TV shows and movies, if you’re getting up a billion times to get this or that, and eating like a pig in front of it, then your children at a movie theater will be talking, getting up and running around, and eating like pigs during the movie. They learned to act that way during movies from the way YOU act during them. That’s why you need to turn off the TV if it’s not being actively watched, and FOCUS on what you’re watching if you are, no talking, no getting up (except for the bathroom), and no eating in front of the TV. And you never let them watch it without you until they’re old enough to regularly behave properly.

    If you keep your house quiet and talk in measured tones, even if you have visitors, your child will talk quietly. if you establish that outdoor is for loudness, running and rambunctious play, and indoor is for still, quiet, and being careful, then your kids will know how to act, wherever they are.

    If you are kind and courteous as much as possible at home, your kids will be kind and courteous when they’re in public, unless they have a condition like Asperger’s. Even then, it doesn’t hurt to provide the example, anyway. Asperger’s kids don’t follow all the rules, but they’re still sweet and kind underneath, especially if they have kind parents.

    If you read to your children every single day, and then let them see YOU reading a book while they’re playing quietly at your feet, then they will read when they’re ready for it, too.

    If you always pick up toys and put them away when play is over, from the time they’re babies, they’ll be a lot more likely to pick up their things and put them away when they’re through with something. Or when you remind them to do it.

    Set the example. Your kids really do learn from it.

  48. Teenagers are going to be rude and horrible, especially if their parents actually are stupid and/or ridiculous. They have to test you, to find out where the limits are.

    All you can do is firmly tell them that such behavior is unacceptable, and start taking privileges until they get the hint.

    If your child is especially bratty but was otherwise a well behaved child in the past, consider that school (public OR private), may be fostering some bad behavior. My son started drifting into some of the sullenness and “Ugh, you’re so uncool” stuff.

    Instead of getting angry and frustrated, I tried to think about what might be going on with him at school. Once I realized what he was dealing with, what he’d been saying about school of late, I pulled him out of his school, and put him in a small private school where being a nerd was cool and the emphasis wasn’t on cliques and who’s wearing what. Suddenly, he became happy again, and went back to his well-behaved self.

    Yes, I do realize that I was extremely lucky to be able to have and afford that kind of school in my city. Not everyone has those opportunities.

    However, the reason he went to that private school was because I stopped reacting with anger and frustration. I made myself calm down and step back enough to analyze some of the clues that had been before my face all along, things he’d been telling me about school and his classmates, the things he HADN’T been telling me–it all made sense at last. I was able to sit down with him and talk about what was going on, and find a solution that worked for both of us.

  49. I took my son with me when I did charity work.

    You teach them that they have to earn what they have, in small ways.

    You don’t constantly buy toys for them. They’ll only get them on special occasions, and if you don’t take care of it, you don’t get another. And you stick with it, until they demonstrate that they’ll do better next time. How do you do it?

    Here was my method: If my son broke one of his toys, he could come to me later, and say, “If I do X for a month and never forget, will you get me another DS?” And X had better be something good, like helping to clean up after dinner, or vacuuming the living room, or washing the downstairs windows. We’d reach an agreement to that and right it down, both of us signing it.

    I would put it up next to a printed out calendar, just for that purpose, and when I saw my son do his chores as promised, and to my satisfaction (I’d show him what I expected first), then we’d go to the calendar and log that he did his chores, and did them right, without complaint. If he did that every day for a month, as promised, then he got another DS.

    Do you think he wasn’t grateful for that new DS, and that he didn’t take extremely good care of it, after having to work for it?

    You teach humility by teaching your child:

    1) To understand why you are disappointed in him when he does wrong, so that he can understand why he needs to apologize when he makes a mistake, and then will make amends for it. Trust me, when your son and his friends accidentally destroy a neighbor’s bush when they’re playing, they learn a LOT of humility by apologizing, asking their parents to help them buy a new bush or equivalent reparation, and then to accept your insistence that they help the neighbor in her garden until they understand all the work that went into growing that rose bush. It’s tough to be proud, anyway when your digging in dirt and spreading manure.

    2) To understand that even if he’s the very best at one thing in life, he still must respect other people, and be grateful to all those who helped him be the best at what he is. Nobody becomes great alone. They are helped in a million ways along the line, the parents who invest time and money in you, the teachers or coaches who invest time in you to share their knowledge, the people who make it possible to have schools, gyms, music studios, painting studios and so on where you learned to be the best–all of those people helped you become successful, and you can never thank them enough for that. You can’t ever forget that.

    You also tell your child that being good in one thing won’t make you great in others, and never mind making you a good person. You make it clear that, sometimes, no matter what he does, no matter how hard he tries, he won’t always be the best every single time, and it’s not the end of the world. You teach him that there is never any shame in working hard to learn or do things, and that the reward isn’t the shiny medal, the admiration of your peers, or the cheers of crowd. The reward is in what you’ve learned from it. You don’t have to be Stephen King, to get a reward from writing a story. You don’t have to have a gold medal in the Olympics to find it rewarding that you learned to play hockey enough to enjoy it.

    If you teach your kids those things, you will never have a child who is too proud for his own good.

    • ShutUpDumbBitch -

      stop talking down to people, your’e not fucking superior to anyone just because you think you’re Such a good parent

  50. If you don’t raise your kids this way, you are a bad parent. You are the worst kind of parent, and are abusing your kids if you let them be brats. Brats grow up to be abusers of people. They are cold-blooded manipulators and completely insensitive to the needs of other people. A lot of them become criminals as well, and it’s not a surprise.

    If your kids are brats, you are raising them to think that everyone will do what they want, and that it’s okay to act like a monster if they don’t get their way. Fast forward 20 years, and it won’t be a surprise at all when your kid winds up in jail because he still thought he could do whatever he wanted to get his way. It doesn’t matter how he does it–lie, cheat, rape, steal or kill–as long as he gets what he wants, when he wants it.

  51. If you’ve resorted to spanking, you’ve already lost against your child.

    Your wife isn’t wrong for thinking that spanking is a bad way to handle things. Her problem is that she’s being passive-aggressive and using your child to express her unease or displeasure with your behavior, rather than dealing with you directly.
    However, you need to leave your wife out of the equation, for right now. More important than her passive-aggression is the fact that you need to get a handle on your rage. You need to re-think how you deal with anger and frustration, and how you express those things when your child misbehaves. Quite frankly, your behavior is completely unacceptable. If you don’t find a more mature and rational way to deal with your anger, you are going to be in a court of law, sooner or later, and it won’t turn out well for you.

    The first thing you need to do is to step back from your anger. Count to ten, twenty, a hundred. But whatever you do, stop yourself before you’re yelling or resorting to violence. Yeah, it’s frustrating when your child disobeys, but you don’t help him by doing something worse. Yelling and spanking are worse, and the spanking could land you in jail.

    Second, you absolutely must have a serious talk with your wife about how to discipline your child in a way that you both agree on, and then you must agree to stick to it and not undermine each other when punishment is necessary. Write it down, if you have to, and both of you sign it, just like it’s a contract. What will definitely be agreed on is that YOU will not yell at or spank a child, and your wife will NOT undermine you if you are carrying out a punishment in accordance with your agreement.

    Third, you and your wife need to lay down the law with your child as a united front. You tell him what’s expected of him. You then make sure your child understands what you BOTH expect of him, and then be consistent and fair with how you deal with bad behavior (and good, too). The punishment for infractions is meted out, and it’s consistent with the “crime”. Spilling his milk at dinner is minor, and deserves the punishment of cleanging up his mess, nothing more. Breaking a Chiluly vase because he was running in the house deserves a stiffer penalty, like no TV or video games for a month.

    You won’t be here for a long time to see this, but other parents in situations like this who come later need to see this, and realize what they’re doing wrong. They need to step back and rethink things, talk to each other as parents, compromise on rules and punishments, and then present a united front about those rules, and do it consistently and fairly.

  52. It’s not your place to discipline kids who aren’t your own, unless BOTH parents give you permission to do so.

    Try talking with your brother one-on-one about your concerns.

    If that doesn’t work, you have to tolerate the child. Unless you’re strong enough to tell your brother that you love him and enjoy seeing him, he can come over or call anytime, but you won’t be in the same house, never mind room, with his wife and child until both of them learn how to behave around others.

  53. You didn’t turn out fine, moron. You think it’s all right to resort to violence with a child over misbehavior. If you tried to do that with someone your own size, you’d either wind up in jail, or six feet under.

    We call people who hurt those smaller than themselves bullies, and you’re the worst kind of bully when you beat your children.

    Don’t expect me to call you justified in being stupid, irrational, and immature for letting your disgusting and violent emotions get the better of you so much that you have to get violent with someone a fraction of your size.

    BTW, a lot of us these days find your behavior so repugnant that we have laws now to deal with scum like you. If you spank your child, you run the risk of having Child Protective Services called on you, losing custody of your child, or being charged with child abuse.

    If I were on a jury, I’d convict your sorry butt in a heartbeat, right now, because people who beat children are right down there with other human trash like child molesters, rapists and murderers at the bottom of the barrel.

    You’re supposed to be an adult, not a violent, angry bully. It’s not our fault that you have ZERO self-control, never mind so little control of your children that you’ll beat them when YOU don’t get your way with them.

    You’re disgusting, and you’re too stupid and barbaric to know it.